iBlog Entry

Somewhere in the last few years, something went horribly wrong in the world of maketing/advertising/whatever-ing.

I'm referring to the use of the letter "i".

It didn't bother me so much when Apple came out with iTunes, the iPod, etc. because it was new and unique then. It was interesting. I was like,

"no kidding... a lower case 'i' followed by the word 'Pod'... simply remarkable."

But now it seems as though the whole world has seen this as simply an opportunity to stop putting any effort into coming up with real names for their products. Whaddya' got? A new book? A light bulb? A new eating utensil? Just put an "i" in front of it and all your problems will float away like an iButterfly.

I think that even Apple is using it as an excuse now... like when they came out with a marvelous new phone, and the best name they could come up with was... wait for it... the "iPhone."(you should actually click on that link... you'll thank me later.)

I would like to know if they even hold meetings to name their products. It couldn't be any more complicated than this:

"So we've got a chat program that needs a name. Any ideas?"
"How about 'iChat'?"
"I like the way you think, Johnson. You're getting a raise."

I actually started to make a list here with links to all the wannabe companies out there that are using the letter "i" as a way to reduce the amount of time spent thinking, but there's just too much. I feel like I wouldn't be able to do it justice.

If you're bored... I mean really bored... just type the letter "i" into Google and sift through the 8,230,000,000 results. Yes, that's right, eight billion. And it only takes .14 seconds. I shouldn't get your hopes up though: Most of them are just there because they used the word "I" somewhere on their website. Which makes you wonder, how does Google decide that a certain site will show up on page 1 just for having the word "I" in their text somewhere?

Anyway, the reason I deemed it necessary to make a post about this for all 5 of you to read, is because of this:

That's a close up of my only friend's shirt, which made me reconsider our friendship. Evidently, BYU at some point stooped to the low, low, despicable act of using the "i" to try and make the Honor Code somehow seem "cool."

What for? The Honor Code is what it is simply because it's not cool. That's why people like it! And it's also why so many weird, backwards-thinking morons, who shouldn't attend BYU, hate it.

It hurts my feelings that they would try to relate to me by stealing a small chunk of Apple's gloriously sleek, competent reputation and tricking people into thinking that we're hip and fresh.

So instead of just complaining about the situation, I decided to take action. I've come up with some replacement names for a lot of Apple's products so they don't have to keep overusing the letter "i". We don't want it to run out.

• iPhone - "Freaking awesome touchscreen thing that does EVERYTHING!!"
• iChat - "MeAndYouChat"
• iLife - "Look! We're better than Windows!"
• iMovie - "I'm Moving!"
• iTunes - "Overly protective music player program that rips away your freedom and deletes stuff a lot"
• iWeb - "No one uses me."
• iBook - "I'm not a book. I'm a computer. Don't insult me."

Indeed, some of these are a little longer and maybe not quite as catchy, but I feel that Apple could use the honesty. Stop hiding behind the "i". It's not cool, man.


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