But one thing that I certainly don't enjoy getting is a message or a FB post or email, or whatever, that says this:
"Hey. How's life?"Of course no one would ever ask me that unless they were at least a little interested to know how my life actually is... but truthfully I don't think that there are very many people out there that want to write an essay about their current life to someone who barely took 5 seconds to say anything at all. I mean when you look at that question and think about it, it really says absolutely nothing.
We're talking about substance.
I believe that a friendship, or any relationship, should be an equal 1:1 - give:take ratio. If you want to receive a meaningful response from someone, I think you should give a meaningful question. The aforementioned question does not qualify.
Really, almost anything is more worthwhile to me than someone basically saying this:
"I don't want to put any thought or effort into writing anything but I want you to give me something thought-provoking and heart-warming to read, to light up my life and bring me peace and bliss."I don't think so. In fact I'd bet that most people respond by saying this:
"Good. You?"And now you've both established that neither of you have anything worth talking about and either your friendship is meaningless or your lives are just really boring.
Say something funny, ask something specific about that person, tell an interesting story about your own life.... whatever. Just show that you actually have a personality!
Think I'm just being grumpy? I'm open to comments.
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i agree, those comments can be pretty lame. but sometimes if you haven't kept up with a person for a period of time, you don't know the intriguing, thought provoking questions to ask them because you can't use anything specific that you know they've been doing. however, i do think that people can come up with better than, "how's life?". though i will say i have been guilty of the question in the past. :) anyway, enough rambling. what's new with you?
ReplyDelete;)
this reminds me a little of my hated question, "so what do you do?" i guess people just need a place to start or perhaps they really are trying to avoid an awkward moment and they know you'll respond with "good, you?" which means they can end the convo sooner than later. really though, i think most people are just trying to be cordial because most people are just acquaintances, who, had they more time might be better friends but given the circumstances, are not. thus the greeting. much like "how are you" when passing someone in the hallway with no intention of stopping. a greeting and that's it.
ReplyDeletei agree with Holly-O and also want to add to it by responding to "tell an interesting story about your own life." i also dislike the one-liner "how's life?" but have used it in the past, and probably will in the future. personally, i will take this option over starting up a conversation by telling someone all about me. seems selfish. and also when i get emails like that... paragraphs about the sender with maybe a "how's life with you?" at the end... i kinda get annoyed and say to myself "and i care because?" even if i actually do care.
ReplyDeletebut maybe that's just me.