Sunday, October 25, 2009

I lost my number. That's all.

"My love for you is like diarrhea; I just can't hold it in."
I think that one of my life-long goals is to use that pick up line in the perfect moment. Chances of me remembering it when it really counts? About 7.

I'll let you decide what that number means.

It reminds me of when I was a freshman in college, and my roommate was going on a date with a girl for the third or fourth time, and he came to me for advice because he wanted to kiss her. He had never kissed anyone before and so he wanted me to tell him how to go about it.

NOW, for those of you that know me, you know that I'm often mistaken for being serious when I'm full-out joking. A problem I'm still working on.

So I told him to wait until the end of the night and then bust out this terrible pick-up line about kissing that was something like this:

"Your lips are all wrinkly. Want me to smooth them out for you?"

A couple days later, that girl was eating lunch with me and she was like,

"You would never believe what your roommate did the other night! It was so pathetic!"

My heart sank. He actually did it. One of the only times I've ever wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

Luckily she thought it was "cute" or whatever. Psssssh. They ended up dating. Happy ending.


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