History in the making.

Ladies and gentlemen. Tomorrow night I am going to attempt to do what we have only read about in the story books. All my years of training and study will culminate in what will soon become history, nay, legend. I'm going to make a whole wheat pizza.

Here is a pizza that I made recently, using boring old flour:


I figure that all my pizza making that I've been doing lately is nice, but it's not really that special since you can just go out and buy a pizza for almost the same price anyway. But can you go out and buy a whole wheat pizza?

Yes. Unfortunately you can, so as usual there's nothing special about me. But they are hard to find. The only large pizza chain that sells them is Papa John's. I would like to be like "ha, and their pizza has rat poison in it." But it doesn't. It's actually pretty good.

Still though, I'm doing a double date tomorrow and one of the people involved is the world's healthiest human, who regularly runs like 10 miles and then will eat some carrots and an apple for dinner, and some cracked wheat for dessert. So in an effort to not alienate her from the rest of us mortals, we're making a whole wheat pizza.

I like to eat healthy too, but I tend to cancel out my healthy habits by binging periodically on melted cheese and deep fried cooking lard. So the healthy eating tends to be more of a psychological thing. Like when people go to Wendy's to get a quadruple stack and extra large fries, and then drink Diet Coke. I'll usually drink water at restaurants but it's really just because I love water. And I love saving money.

And I think that when it comes right down to it, after you finish eating a big greesy burger with super salty fries, what on earth could possibly quench your thirst more than water? It actually tastes good. All the research and invention in the history of the world has not been able to create a drink more healthy and quenching than good old fashion water.

Unless of course you are in the middle of Idaho somewhere on a road trip home and you get the water at Jack in the Box. Not good. Not at all. I did that last summer and it was the worst experience of my entire existence. It was yellow and tasted like centipedes.

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