I'm pretty much famous already.

So the reason I went to Hollywood the other day was so that I could sign up with a "talent" agency to find work as a movie extra. They find gigs for you to do, and you give them 10% of whatever you earn. Doesn't cost a thing to sign up. That's how it should be.

But when I went in for my "interview", they actually had me read a monologue for them. I didn't want to be annoying because they seemed pretty busy, but why on earth do I need to read a monologue in order to be an extra? Extras don't talk!

Not to mention I'm easily one of the worst actors this planet has ever seen. All I want to do is sit in the background and drink some pop. Simple as that. And get paid for it.

So I tried to take it seriously though in my head I'm thinking "YAY for really poopy acting!"

Fortunately, poopy acting is good enough for extras these days because they called me back and said that I made "the cut", which evidently was only 27 of the 73 people that auditioned! HA! So how bad were the rest of them? Could they not read? Did they throw up all over their monologue sheet or something?

Anyway, they said that I had to bring in a headshot. For those unfamiliar, a headshot is a pretty big deal in the acting world, and people often pay around $400 or more to get a professional one taken. I did some research and the cheapest price I could find was $150 for one shot, and they don't even print it up for you. And it even said "20 minute time limit." Woah, sorry, didn't realize you need $450 per hour to get by in this city...

Seriously, I have respect for photographers, but the headshot business is a scam around here.
Needless to say, I'm not about to pay a whole month's worth of groceries just for a picture of my face, just so I can be an extra and make like $85 per day. No thank you.

So you can probably guess what I spent my morning doing yesterday. Here's a shot of my newly-made, professional photo studio. (the camera sits on top of the briefcase. I had to use it to take this picture.) I take Visa and Mastercard if you need a session. It's $800 per minute.

So I took a few shots of my head and grabbed one that I felt like I could live with, not because of my facial expression but simply because it's one of the only ones that didn't come out blurry, or overexposed, or have a bug flying through it, etc.

Then I had to go through the painfully tedious process of outlining my head, including all my individual hairs, using my mouse. I hate doing that. I did it for my pictures on my website too.

Add a nice black background.

Do a tiny bit of color enhancement, crop it, add my name to the bottom and skih-DOOSH!

A highly professional headshot, perfect for a budding young extra in the movie bizz.

For those of you who don't know, Photoshop is way too much fun once you learn how to use it, so I was super tempted to change my eye color or have a bug crawling out of my forehead or something...

I printed it out at Staples. Cost me $1.20. It's a lot, I know, but I consider it to be a very important investment for my acting career. I think it will pay for itself in the end. We'll see.


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